The Jewish New Year is around the corner, Thanksgiving is creeping up, and if you're like most of us, you're already feeling that familiar knot in your stomach about hosting.

You know the drill: you want to create beautiful memories and honor traditions, but the thought of doing it all yourself while maintaining your sanity (and energy) feels impossible.

Here's what I've learned after years of holiday hosting trial and error: the secret isn't doing less – it's doing it smarter.

The Real Problem with Holiday Hosting

We've been conditioned to believe that good hosting means doing everything ourselves. That asking for help somehow diminishes the love we're showing our family and friends.

But here's the truth: your guests want to contribute. They want to feel useful, included, and part of creating something special together. When you try to do it all, you rob them of that joy AND exhaust yourself in the process.

Some dishes are meant to marinate, develop flavors, and get better with time. These are your holiday hosting secret weapons.

For meat eaters: Sweet and Sour Brisket is perfect for Rosh Hashanah and improves overnight. The flavours meld, the meat becomes more tender, and you can slice it perfectly when it's cold. Reheat gently the day of, and it tastes like you've been cooking all day (when really you did the work yesterday). (pg.224)

Going the bagel and spreads route? Place your orders ahead of time. You can order from most bagel shops and delis in advance. (Remember many are closed on the holidays so double check if you need to pick up a day ahead - I learned this the hard way!). Add homemade or store-bought salads, and you've got a beautiful spread without the panic. (I like to add one hot dish to round out this menu)

Buffet or sit-down? Both work great – it just depends on size of your guest list and your space. Buffet is easier for larger groups and lets people customize their plates. Sit-down feels more intimate but requires more coordination.

The real make-ahead winners:

Here's the shift that changed everything for me: I stopped asking people to help with what I'm good at, and started asking them to bring what they excel at.

I love making salads – the chopping, the layering, getting the dressing just right. But baking? Not my strong suit. I'm not the best at following directions, which is essential if you want your recipes to turn out well.

So I ask my mom to make one (or more) of the family favourite desserts – cheesecake (pg.198), chiffon cake (pg.204), 'Bubie's biscotti'(pg.202) – so many to choose from. These are all in the cookbook, and her famous gefilte fish (actually her mother’s recipe) marks the holiday as one of our essential holiday dishes (pg.234).

The Magic Phrases:

What to Delegate Based on Your Weak Spots:

The Genius Move: Frame it as giving them a chance to contribute something meaningful, not as you needing help. People love being appreciated for their skills.

Advanced Strategy: Be honest about what you don't enjoy. "I'm focusing on the main course because that's what I love doing – would you handle the thing you do best?"

When you're hosting, your nervous system is already activated. Your stress hormones are higher, your sleep might be disrupted, and your body is working overtime.

This is not the time for intense cardio or heavy lifting. This is the time for practices that help you stay centred and preserve your energy.

Try these instead:

The Pre-Party Reset: 30 minutes before guests arrive, do this sequence:

Why this works: You're giving your nervous system a chance to downregulate before the stimulation of hosting. You'll feel more grounded, less reactive, and actually present for your guests.

The Weekend Before Strategy: This might be the time for a bit of heart-pumping, endorphin-releasing exercise—just don't overdo it. You don’t want to be nursing sore muscles on the big day.

My best annual hosting trick: Right after each holiday, I write myself a detailed note – what I served, how many people came, what quantities I had for each dish and whether it was enough, too much, or just right. It's like leaving a roadmap for my future self so I'm not reinventing the wheel or guessing on portions every single year.

Remember: Your guests aren't coming for a perfect meal. They're coming for connection, tradition, and time together. The more energy you preserve, the more present you can be for what really matters.

How are you feeling about the upcoming holidays? What's your biggest hosting challenge? Hit reply – I love hearing what's actually working (and what's keeping you up at night).

P.S. My 30-Day Energy Reset Beta Course’s private invitations are going out next week. If you want to be on that exclusive list, hit reply with the word "ME" – there are only 25 spots and I'm giving newsletter readers first access before announcing anywhere else.